I use too, but it was a culmination of fears.  Over the past 18 seasons I have been racing my bicycle and I slowly have over come many of those fears.  I won’t say any of them were easy but they were obstacles holding back my performance.  This season my mental focus was to erase that dreaded fear of falling or crashing.  None of us wants to crash and risk potential a season ending injury but we do want race fast. The mind is a tricky thing to change.  I don’t care how many times I quoted Molly C “keep you hands off the F*@king brakes”, I still feathered them.  It took some crashes to let go and ride fast.  It started when the gang got together for an early season training session; I caught a toe on a pvc barrier and plowed into the ground.  Minutes later I washed out in a corner slamming my knee into the rocks.  My first race had me passing a rider warming up who happen to be behind a racer, I hooked my bars and went flying.  I got up, made my way to the pits and kept racing.  So, with those first few crashes out the way I focused on why I had been afraid to fall.  I hadn’t really injured myself or serious damaged my bicycle; what was holding me back?  Fear?  Maybe becoming more aware of my abilities, changing bike set-ups, and wanting to do better have forced my mental risk/reward function to let it go a little more.  That brings us to my latest crash, where I hooked some course tape and tumbled harmlessly to the ground.  I got up only to see the pack riding away, did I fear being laughed at, did I fear being last, or did I fear crashing again.  NO, I just used my crash to fuel my stomach of anger and continued to race. 

 I will toe the line again this weekend with my only fear being will the kids eat all the candy before I get home.

Mike B.